How to Be a Girl's GirlTuesday, January 10, 2017
If this title post already hooks you, then you know you’re either IT or you’re NOT. At least you’re interested in either becoming one or you could care less. Pick a side and veer passionately towards that purpose. I am first and foremost a TOTAL Girl’s girl- in all its feministic, anti-chauvinistic, empowering, reinforcing, supportive, overly considerate (sometimes to a fault), attentive, sympathetic, accommodating, and cooperative glory. I will back you up, push you forward, and strive to ALWAYS make you feel like I’m in your corner.
I could easily admit that one of my life’s greatest purposes is to empower women. Not just my girlfriends but ALL women. Growing up, I was always told by my mother, aunties, teachers, basically any elder female that I could DO and BE anything I ever wanted. It was never a matter if I was good enough, strong enough, brave enough- If I could dream it, I could do it. So can YOU.
I’ve always surrounded myself with a gaggle of girls since grade school. I felt nurtured by like-minded individuals who appreciated similar nuances as I did growing up: Makeup, beauty, lifestyle, books, boys- you know, the essentials lol. Now that I’m well into my 30’s, those subject matters have matured to include domestic bliss, potential motherhood, family, relationships, health, success, the list goes on and on. Girl power just gives me life and boys are lucky to be a part of this growing legion of female liberation.
My best girlfriends and I make it a point to spend quality time together at least once a month to regale each other in life’s most mundane or extraordinary events. When you show up, it matters. It’s saying that you care to be a part of one another’s lives, you care enough to be present and willing to give your time and energy to those dearest to you.
On the flip side, if you don’t show up on the regular, I can assume you could care less. We all know life happens and it’s not always ideal timing to show up at every single occasion but if they’re far and few between, just make the effort. I promise your friends will be there for you when you need them the most. It’s reciprocated relationships that I feed on and therefore have the most longevity as a result.
Now that you’ve shown up, you can’t just come for the food girls. Showing up means putting out. Your thoughts, ideas, opinions, views, and feelings on the topics at hand. It’s about engaging in personal philosophies and supporting each other every step of the way.
This does NOT mean that you must agree with everything the other person says. On the contrary; I absolutely encourage the dissonance and challenges that help expand my own perspective. This allows for new thoughts to pervade my perhaps once archaic notions to ultimately benefit my personal growth as an individual and thus make me a better friend, better wife, better sister, better daughter, better mother, just better all around. Ideas make the world go ‘round and I’d rather be an active participant than yet another passive observer.
Now it’s come to my attention that many women haven’t a clue what their daily chattering indicates. I know this from personal experience and with social media as household fodder, it’s becoming increasingly easier and easier to lose your grip on what really matters and that is to focus on yourself, and not others.
Gossiping does not just mean that you’re talking shit and saying bad things about other people. Gossiping implies the mindless chatter that you engage in simply by being responsive or supporting the blathering of your other girlfriends. Any notion, concept, opinion, or idea that doesn’t first and foremost come from a place of positive encouragement is downright gossip.
Get real- you know you’re doing it the minute it comes out of your mouth. Saw a gal with a slammin’ body on Facebook and asking the world if she got lipo? That’s gossip. Met a cute new girl surrounded by boys on Instagram and automatically concluded she’s a slut? That’s gossip! Checked your girlfriend’s recent vacation pics and wondering where she got all that money to travel? That’s gossip!
It’s downright scandalous and seriously not a good look. You’re neither being supportive nor encouraging, so just stop already. I see you in all your devious ways and really want nothing to do with that kind of negative, nosy, chin-wagging energy. With friends like these, who needs enemies?
Coat c/o SheIn
Bottom: Frame Denim
Bag: Rebecca Minkoff
Gloves: Steve Madden
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So if you really, really want to be a girl’s girl, nail down these 3 steps and teach me a thing or two about including your own. Because unlike a guy’s girl, I’m all ears honey!