Why Comparing Yourself to Others is (Actually) a Good Thing

Monday, February 27, 2017

You know you do it.

Every time you spy another with great hair, killer style, luxury handbags, always traveling, hitting up the coolest spots, surrounded by fabulous people with a hot career that’s well on the rise… Admit it. You’re a little jealous. Green-eyed even. Lusting after what you don’t have and wishing, wanting what others seem to radiate.

I’m here to tell you those envious emotions are actually reactive blessings in disguise.
Don’t believe me?  Here’s how I know…

Motivational Tool

Passing judgment, whether good or bad, can motivate you to change something about your own life that doesn’t measure up. If there’s a better player on the sports team you’ve just joined, comparing yourself to that person may step up your game.  On the flip side, if you compare yourself to a player with less skills than you, it can boost your confidence and keep the momentum going to play better, and ultimately become the BEST that you can be.

Desire Creates the Power

Social media is NOT real. (Repeat to self)
It’s a beautifully flawed and fictional world where people plunge right into to escape their own realities.  Which is why it’s such an inspiring and aspiring place to be.  I can’t tell you how many countless hours I spend lost in LaLaLand aka Instagram just ogling beautiful people, their beautiful lives, and the beautiful landscape of our world.  

But I believe that’s precisely why social media is so addicting! 
Social comparison is innately a human behavior.
We ALL do it.
Especially when confronted with so many stimulants from our social media feeds, our immediate natural response is either “I want it!” or “Eh, I’ll pass.” Either way, the burning desire creates the power to bring that emotion to life.

Is "Comparison the Thief of Joy?"

Theodore Roosevelt once said that “comparison is the thief of joy” but what he failed to mention was that comparison can quickly catapult you to complete bliss if used correctly.  Social comparison is simply in our human nature guys. We can’t help but compare ourselves to others.  The minute you start feeling bad and less worthy is when you know you’re not doing it correctly.

Here’s a very simple rule I learned when studying Psychology in school:

Seek favorable comparisons if you want to feel happier.
Seek unfavorable comparisons if you want to push yourself harder.

In other words, the silver medalist will compare himself to the bronze medalist and feel happier knowing he placed 2nd instead of 3rd. On the flip side, in order to push himself to be better, the silver medalist would compare himself to the gold medalist and fuel that fire inside for a future win.  

You see the distinction?

Top: c/o Zaful 
Bottom: Paige Denim
Shoes: Dolce Vita (old, similar HERE and HERE)
Sunnies: Gucci (old, similar HERE and HERE)


In closing:
You simply crave the life you don’t have. BUT that doesn’t mean you can’t have it!
It's all within reach guys; it’s all about wanting it bad enough to get up and MAKE IT HAPPEN!!
So go ahead and lust a little, it’s good for you to keep wanting more.
Remember that anything and everything worth having is worth fighting for.

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  1. La Bijoux Bella | by miaFebruary 27, 2017 11:18 PM

    Nice post, I totally agree with you here Mademoiselle Julie. It's so true, reality does not lie. Sometimes we all need an edge to kick start and reflect it as a push to better ourselves in life. Perhaps competition can be good for the drive in our way of life. :)
    A very nice perspective, love this post. :)

    ❤LA BIJOUX BELLA❤ | BY MIA | A Creative Lifestyle Blog

    1. Totally babe! You get me! It's all about healthy competition especially with strong females who push you to get better!

  2. first of all, love your look here especially those shoes! second, thank you for this great perspective, comparing is indeed helpful when it pushes and inspires for the better! xx. gigi. www.gigikkitchen.com

    1. Thanks for the visit and taking the time to read the post Gigi! I'm all about self improvement and I find comparing myself to others is always a great starting point~

  3. love your heels...

    1. Thank you Swati! They're so old but one of my faves ;D

  4. Comparing your life with other's one is good if you can get inspiration and motivation from!!

    1. Exactly babe- as long as I don't feel bad or worse about myself I know I'm on the right track!

  5. Perfection as always <3
    Please check out my blog too. That are absolutely stunning photos!


    1. Thank you Viola! Have a fabulous weekend babe!

  6. This is so true!! And I think that denying when we feel that we want something or we judge someone/something (whether bad or good) on the account that "it's not nice to judge" or "it's not nice to want that" it's very toxic and can keep someone stuck. I hate it when people don't admit it to themselves "yeah, you know what, I want that!". There's a difference between looking at someone with jealousy/envy and feeling negative, and just loving something you see and being inspired to do something better, and to step up your game.

    Much love <3


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